How not sell a car (a rant)

[Andrew Lundy]

What did they do wrong???  That's exactly what I'm doing with my Audi!!!

Maybe that's why I haven't had any offers in the 3 months it's been for
sale??? :-)
---
Andrew Lundy
fast928 at prodigy.net
90 80q
FR: 91 90 http://www.public.iastate.edu/~dewlundy/Audi/Gold.html
95 90q


----- Original Message -----
From: "Jenny Curtis" <jenny at physics.umn.edu>
To: "qlist" <quattro at audifans.com>
Sent: Monday, June 18, 2001 12:18 PM
Subject: How not sell a car (a rant)


> Hi Q-list:
>
> Thought I'd post this rant to the list so as to get it off my chest.
> Graham and I have been test driving Fiat 124 Spiders because we'd like
> to get one as a fun third car.  (To replace the one that's been
> sitting, rusting in the garden for 4 years).  I have shopped for used
> cars before via the classifieds and I've come to expect the worst from
> this situation.  But the last few weeks of test driving have shown me
> that there are lot of used car owners out there who really don't want
> to sell their cars.  They just want to keep running ads in the paper
> so they can meet new people and have them visit their house.
>
> So here then is primer on how not to sell your car.
>
> 1.  If you don't want to sell your used car, lie about it so that when
> the prospective buyer shows up they're in for a surprise. It's typical
> to see major mechanical and body flaws either ignored or glossed over
> in the ad and when you talk to the owner on the phone.   I've actually
> gotten into cars that were unsafe to drive at highway speed.  After we
> returned the car to the owner asking "what was that terrifyingly loud
> shudder and bang when we pulled onto the freeway?" "Oh that's just a
> loose tie rod.  It's no big deal."  Maybe that's why he hasn't been
> driving.  I guess he forgot to mention it.  As far as I was concerned
> that was the end of the line.  I decided right then and there that the
> guy was a bozo and that there were probably a half a dozen more things
> he forgot to mention.
>
> 2.  Always remind the prospective buyer that they're purchasing a
> death trap. One couple told us not to worry about the missing
> seatbelts in the Fiat because if you get into a crash in a convertable
> you're going to die anyway.  Now that's salesmanship!   (By the way
> their logic on the seatbelts is utter garbage since having a belt will
> save you from going through the windshield in a low speed crash.)
> Since they lived way the heck out in Bumbleville  and there was no way
> to get the car into town to our mechanic without driving on busy
> freeways without belts so we passed on it.  It may sound paranoid, but
> the steering was incredibly loose and the slightest breeze could push
> you out of your lane and into another car.  Death trap indeed.
>
> 3. If you are trying to sell a car to a woman (or a couple) be as
> sexist and obnoxious as possible.  Tell the prospective buyer that she
> might not want to buy a convertable because it messes up your hair.
> Then imply that accidents are caused because women are checking their
> hair in the mirror.  Then make a joke to the guy about the car being a
> babe magnet. (The car in question was a PoS with crappy purple paint,
> major mechanical problems, i.e. it died on on us driving it around the
> block, and it had a really weird stench.)
>
> 4. When someone calls you about the car, don't return their calls for
> about a week.  Then suddenly call at 6:00 in the morning and leave a
> really angry-sounding unintelligble message on the machine.
>
> 5.  Make sure the car is filled with junk, is filthy inside and out
> and that there is a puddle in the back seat because you keep
> forgetting to put the top up when it rains.  Offer the buyers an old
> greasy jacket they can throw over the seat to keep their butts dry and
> clean.
>
> So as the Fiat search enters its second month things look bleak.  If
> anyone knows of any for sale in the Twin Cities area, please let me
> know.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Jenny
> 86'4kQ
>
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