unsubscribe please!!!!!

[Kent McLean]

MARTIN H.ALPERT (how proud he must be to use all caps) wrote:
>( actually, he didn't write anything)

Martin,

This was posted to another list, but it might work here.

Kindest regards,
Kent McLean
'89 200 TQ, "Bad Puppy"


HOW TO UNSUBSCRIBE


To unsubscribe from this service you must first
purchase a Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription
Cancellation Unit. The unit can be obtained from
most hardware stores and dental clinics. Be sure to
obtain the proper permits to operate the unit from
the Nuclear Regulatory Commission and the Food and
Drug Administration in Washington D.C. USA.

Be sure to carefully unpack the kit and place each
component in its accompanying mesh safety bag. Mount
the Pershing DF4 mesinator on top of the perforated
Gerring Mach 77 refibulator and attach them using
the eight-millimeter torque fork. Be sure that the
refibulator is mounted at a 66 degree angle and
properly dispersed so that it is flush with the
curved section of the Pyrex thistle tube. Place the
four sections of the triangular separation gear into
the posture cylinder and lock them into place using
the band aid adhesive strip. Insert the wiggling pin
into the wobbling hole, making sure that it seated
correctly. Place the D cell battery and the eleven 9
volt batteries in the power chamber.

The device should be calibrated before operation
using the optional digital corkscrew accessory pack
prior to operation. Insert the digital corkscrew
through the electronic combustion service chamber
using caution not to touch the reinforced tungsten
igniter control module and quickly turn the inverter
drive to 28.6 degrees. Turn the Craft-O-Matic
Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit upside
down and hit the bottom plate with a 48-ounce
ball-peen hammer while shaking the unit vigorously.
Force open the door to the incineration valve
compartment and set the pressure gauge to 719 psi.
Close the door and seal it shut with duct tape. The
unit should now be properly calibrated and ready to
use.

Before activating the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable
Subscription Cancellation Unit, you must first
elevate it to a height of 229 feet above sea level
to ensure that the unit receives the proper oxygen
level and barometric pressure. Point the aerial to
17 degrees north by northeast to within the
parameters of the Telstar GS-2 weather satellite and
apply pressure to the wing shaft on the southern
most section of the modular accelerator. Using the
special ratchet adapter supplied with the unit,
rotate the heater core to the "on" position. The
"on" position has been obtained when the green light
begins to flash, signifying that the red light is
about to go off. Once the red light is off, flip the
toggle switch labeled "ON/OFF" to the "ON" position
and count to 47 before logging on to the system.
Logon using your username and password and wait for
the prompt. Once prompted you must check the box
with the appropriate action you wish to take and
then press the pressure release button and turn off
the compressor while turning the hand crank at 231
meters per minute. Next, press control, alt, delete,
caps lock, shift, number lock, escape and tab
simultaneously. Press enter. You will have one
second to complete the procedure. If you fail to
respond in the time limit allowed, simply purchase a
new Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription
Cancellation Unit and start from the beginning.

Please remember that this is the only way we will
accept for you to unsubscribe from this service. We
have made every attempt to simplify the procedure
for your convenience. Failure to comply with the
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termination of your subscription so please follow
the above directions closely.