part elimination 5k

[Doyt W. Echelberger]

Just follow the directions of the manufacturer, as described by the owners
manual. Any other action is at your own risk. Here is what some owners have
risked. This writer offers them only as examples of things the manufacturer
would most likely frown upon. Also, "part elimination" is really what the
concept of a "parts car" is all about. You might consider that alternative,
as it is considerably safer than the following practices:

Many rogue owners (technical term) ignore leaks in the hydraulic pressure
accumulator system and keep dumping in vast quantities of cheap hydraulic
fluid, which may or may not accelerate the failure of the systems
components. Tests are underway.

Also, because the car is loaded with luxury accessories and sophisticated
control systems,
rogue owners can just "not use" many of the aging systems.....that is, they
eliminate USING them.  So not using them reduces failure and mostly makes
failure inconsequential. Actually, some just stop driving the car and let
it sit. Eventually, they get the idea of "parts car."

Examples: Stop using the compressor and evaporator and condenser and hoses
and parts of the air conditioning system by setting your climate control on
a temperature higher than that of the outside temperature, and running it
on ECON, or not running it at all. Sweating freely in the summer sometimes
is necessary. The heater will probably work OK for a long time. When the
blower motor quits, the rogue owner reads the archives to find a cheap
temporary fix (maybe.)

Stop running electric windows up and down. The rogue owner opens the door
to get tickets at the tool booth, and to pay on exit. They ignore the
honking horns and gestures. Such activity requires being sure the driver
door handles work inside and out.

Many rogue owners have disconnected the ABS at the box under the rear seat.
Some practice slower and safer driving on slippery surfaces, and use winter
tires. Owners rationalize by saying they never really liked the ABS chatter
anyhow, right?

Some take the after-run turbo coolant pump out of the loop and practice
one-minute cooldowns of the turbo before shutting down. They don't
challenge the turbo with long highspeed full boost runs. When the turbo
fails, they drive the car anyhow as long as they can. If the rad leaks a
little, they try to run the car without the cap on the overflow tank. When
the heater hoses/controls leak or blow, they re-route the coolant so it
doesn't go through the heater core. Many carry a "U" bend and some clamps
for unexpected failures.

Some surviving rogue owners just keep driving the car after the hydraulic
pressure accumulator fails. They still have some degree of power steering
and power brakes as long at the pump is operational....just not when the
engine is off. This means driving very carefully so as to minimize
unintentional engine shutdown or emergency braking situations. This
practice does raise the risk of accidents without the HPA. After all, they
say, it's you life and your risk, right? On that note, don't carry
passengers and stay off public roads, please.

Some take off the stainless exhaust system when it fails, and replace it
with a straight-thru cheap pipe from a custom bender shop, or cobble
something together from Wal-Mart. Sometimes they jury-rig a support for the
exhaust at the transmission when the stock support fails. Baling wire might
work. Then they drive so as to not attract the law. Again, staying off
public roads may be the solution. Gently accelerate or park it when police
are nearby. Better yet, drive in a country where there is no traffic
enforcement. Better yet, make it a "parts car."

Lock the power seats in position and stop using the controls. Don't mess
with trying to use the seat warmers. Wear long underwear in the winter.

Leave the sunroof alone in the closed position. Seal it with GOOP if it
leaks. Anyhow, the sunroof is only an emergency escape hatch in case the
doors don't work.

When the wipers fail, don't drive in the rain or snow. Take public
transportation or share the ride. Avoid traffic inspection stops.

Re-wire the headlight circuit to eliminate the failing multifunction switch
on the steering column. Use some cheap generic switches and mount them
nearby. Try to avoid electrical fires and start carrying a fire
exstinguisher if you already haven't adopted this practice. Stop driving at
night and use hand signals. (Note:This is in conflict with not using the
power window advisory.)

Don't worry about fixing the speedometer-odometer-tachometer. Drive slower
than the cars around you. Better yet, don't drive at all.

Do not mess with the quattro diff locks. Forget them. They might last
longer than anything else, but you never can tell for sure.

When the hoses and pump on the windshield washer unit fails, carry a spray
bottle of washer fluid and reach out the window now and then. This implies
having a working wiper. Or stop frequently at service stations and use
their washer fluid.

These techniques are reported to be in use all over the country, and have
been tried by many owners of older Audis, frequently just prior to offering
their cars as "parts vehicles." Using these techniques is entirely at the
risk of the owner, and this writer accepts no liability by inscribing them
on the electronic parchment. He recommends strictly following the
suggestions of the manufacturer, as described in the owners manual of the
car. (Short pause while removing tongue from cheek position)  :~)

Doyt Echelberger
87 5ktq at 219k miles, running fine (today) with a trunk full of spare
parts and tools.


 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
At 12:06 PM 2/3/2002 -0500, you wrote:
>Does anybody know what parts of systems on a 5ktq can be removed to make less
>work and maintenance, etc?  This question is poorly worded, so I will give
>some
>examples.
>
>For instance, on Javad's Audi 80tq site he mentions not using the vacuum pump
>for the brakes.  Well on a 5k we have a brake "bomb" right?  Well is there a
>way not to have a brake "bomb"?
>
>Also can we have a non power assist rack?

..........sure you can, at your own risk and expense. Use some imagination.


>I think what i am getting at is having fewer systems to break and fewer lines
>to blow in my aging audi.

...........very difficult question when applied to essential systems.
Follow manufacturer's suggestions in the owners manual.


>Oh and by the way, I still cannot believe the strength possessed by these
>cars.  I SLAMMED the rear of the 5k into a snowbank in 3rd the other night.  I
>just assumed that the quarter panel was balled up, but upon inspection, the
>bumper cover just had to be kicked back on.

.................such trials of aging systems is beyond the scope of this
essay. Doyt


>TIA,
>
>Bill