Mike's bad driving . . .

[Robert Myers]

Sounds like you learned to drive in West-by-Gawd-Virginnie, Mike.  Or was 
that Ohio? :-))

At 09:44 AM 12/21/2004 -0500, Mike Arman wrote:


>Bad driving? What bad driving? Just because I have three cell phones, a 
>laptop and a 5" TV on the passenger seat, all going at once, I balance a 
>McDonald's sandwich in one hand and a Sonic burger in the other, I have a 
>gun rack in the back window, three (count 'em) NRA stickers and a Q-list 
>sticker covering the back window, a Magnetic Mary on the dashboard (how 
>can I get that to stick to the padded dash?), the back seat is full of 
>empty Coors cans, and in the glove box I have a Spanish-English profanity 
>phrase book and a French-English profanity phrase book, I don't EVER use 
>signals until after I make a turn (usually long after), I drive 55 in the 
>left lane with my turn signal on for miles and miles, and I drive 125 
>through residential areas (love the sound of the Audi V8 flat out!), all 
>the while peering out below the rim of the steering wheel - that's when I 
>remember to take my trifocals along with me, usually I park by ear (crunch 
>- OK, stop), and I park in the handicapped spaces every chance I get and 
>then limp away from the car conspicuously (on my way to the gym) . . . and 
>drive at night through deserted warehouses and through construction sites 
>. . . and *I* get accused of bad driving? WHO, ME????? Why I've been 
>driving 250 years, young man, never had a ticket or an accident (unless 
>you count . . . ummm, never mind) . . . grumble mutter mutter . . .
>
>Did I mention I found a place to buy braille overlays for the instruments 
>in my airplane? Great - now I won't have to worry about carrying the 
>trifocals OR the cane!
>
>Have a happy holiday and a wonderful new year, and watch out for me on the 
>interstate - Muhahahahhaha!!!!!
>
>Best Regards,
>
>Mike Arman
>(Audi V8 . . . it isn't just a car, it's an ADVENTURE!)