Retrostyle car (LAC)

[Mike Arman]

Comments regarding the new Magnum/300 Dodge -

I recently assisted the executor of an estate in the disposal of a 2005 
Dodge Magnum wagon, 3.5 liter V6, middle trim options, black on black, 
the car had 22,000 miles on it, sticker price was $32,000.

I had to drive it around somewhat, back and forth to a body shop to get 
a few shopping cart dings taken out, had it detailed, get fuel, 
basically I think I put about 250 miles on the car.

In a word, ghastly.

Visibility out of this car stinks - the roof line comes way down in the 
front, and it seems you are peering out of a tank periscope. You can't 
see down because of the exaggerated "retro" style prominent hood line, 
and you can't see up because of the forward position of the roof. The 
"A" pillars are also quite wide and block vision to the sides. Since the 
car is styled with a high belt line, the outside rear view mirrors are 
also high, and they block your vision forward and down as well.

There is no visibility to the rear. The rear window just "fits" into the 
rear view mirror field of view, so you can see only what is directly 
behind you, and the image is very, very small. There is no visibility 
out the rear quarters, the windows are just too small.

The steering wheel has a pair of imitation brushed stainless steel 
rectangular decorative inserts, and they always manage to reflect glare 
into your eyes. The steering wheel spokes are wide, and that blocks your 
view of the instruments.

Performance - this car had the optional 3.5 liter V6. It was noticeably 
slower than my Audi V8Q (no surprise there), but also *noticeably* 
thirstier! That was a surprise. Using more fuel to go slower doesn't 
strike me as a bargain.

The car had power assisted all wheel disc brakes, and they were awful. 
Stepping on the brakes did nothing, standing on them slowed the car only 
gradually. I understand this is their normal performance, incidentally. 
The car did ride well, possibly due to the long wheelbase, but was 
somewhat reluctant to go around corners, but that is typical of most 
large US cars. I did not press the car, and all the roads I was on were 
in good to excellent shape, so I don't know how this car would handle 
potholes, rough surfaces or spirited driving.

Fit and finish was typical cheap Chrysler - lots and lots of fragile, 
fiddly plastic bits, carpet with unfinished edges that didn't quite fit 
right, in general the impression was that this car is clearly the spawn 
of K-car or the Revenge of the Bean Counters, or both.

Now on to some serious incipient problems. There is ONE entry key for 
this car, in the driver's door. None of the other doors have keyholes, 
and the tailgate doesn't either. If something happens to the lock 
mechanism in the driver's door, you are LOCKED OUT, and you can't go 
around to the passenger door, a strategy much in favor with the owners 
of older Audis.

The relay box, which is as large and complex as in any Audi, is under 
the trunk cover, in the lowest part of the spare tire well at the right 
rear, and is adjacent to the battery. The tailgate leaks in the rain, 
and guess where the water drains to? Correct! Right onto the relay panel 
and the wiring! Prediction - in a few years, there are going to be a LOT 
of these things around for sale cheap with insoluble, intermittent 
electrical problems - the spare tire well got filled with water and 
submerged the relay panel and the battery . . .

Also, if these cars ever get hit - and not very hard, either - in the 
right rear, it is going to involve the battery and many, many electrical 
components as well as sheet metal.

There was also some quirkiness with the alarm and the automatic light 
shutoff delay. During the day, locking the car honks the horn and 
flashes the headlights. Shutoff time for the headlights during the day 
varies between five seconds and fifteen minutes, and I was never able to 
determine why. At night, locking the car honks the horn and again 
flashes the headlights. Shutoff time at night varies between immediately 
and ten minutes, again, apparently at random - and remember, this is a 
NEW car, under warranty. When I was cleaning it out, I found a Snap-on 
professional grade electrical tester wedged next to the relay panel - 
evidently left there accidentally by the mechanic at the dealer - this 
is NOT a good sign . . . remember, this car is NEW and already shows 
signs of regular visits under warranty . . .

When we finished cleaning it up, I put it into Autotrader at $22,500, 
being the average bluebook for this car in this trim level. At 22,000 
miles, it was the lowest mileage of the dozen or so offered in the 
Orlando/Daytona area. Dealers had higher mileage cars for more money, 
sometimes a lot higher on both mileage AND money.

We got ONE call - someone wanted to know if I would take weekly 
payments. I gently explained to him that this car was from an estate 
(means the owner died, buddy), and it had to be a cash sale, he should 
go see his bank. ("Well, I don't have a bank account right now.")

The executor then got antsy, flew in from out of town and drove it over 
to Car-Max. "This is my mom's car, she died, here's the title, I'm 
leaving town in 20 minutes, whatt'l ya gimmie for it?"

I have not had the heart to ask him how much Car-Max gave him - in fact, 
I think I'd rather not know, but I suspect it was in the low teens - 
which means this car lost fully ONE HALF of its value in just ONE YEAR. 
That's some pretty spectacular depreciation.

Somehow, I don't think I want to own one of these. Ever.

Best Regards,

Mike Arman
90 V8Q, more than a car, its an ADVENTURE!