[s-cars] fwd: AP Newswire

[QSHIPQ at aol.com]

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[ Picked text/plain from multipart/alternative ]
AP News Flash:  Lexington OH
  There are confirmed reports of New York s-car mafia attempting a hostile
takeover of a local kart track in the Lexington area.  Sources close to the
investigation allege that a eye-talian accented man accosted the local summer
workers at "Bucks", a summer karting and batting cage facility close to the
Legendary Mid-Ohio Sports Car Complex.  No injuries were reported, but the
confrontation caused the kart track to interrupt service for several minutes.

Witnesses to the incident indicated that the infamous Joe "Pizzo" Pizzo of
the Lower NY S-car mafia was seen driving the mini-me indy karts in a reckless
and agressive manner.  Several of the other drivers were forced off-track by
the I-talian.  When members of track security recognized the offender, he was
evicted from the course.  Pizzo became irate with the young nascar adorned lads,
accusing them of descrimination against non local I-talian immigrants.  More
security (the old lady running the concession) confronted Pizzo during his
unauthorized tresspass in the staging area.  Several witnesses saw I-talian type
gestures from the man in question, and he was escorted to a more secure area,
where it is rumored he successfully haggled for 3 extra dollars refund monies.

The local constables were not called, as the local Lexington hangout
management feared an S-car mafioso retaliation, recalling a steering incident in Troy
Michigan as an example.  The County Sherriff was not immediately available for
comment (he was singing at the Kareoke bar), but a deputy spokesman
commented, "We've heard of the Pizzo family and his band of audi driving hooligans from
the east.  We have alerted the G11-RICO boys, but since their closest office
is Toledo, I'm sure by the time they get here, the I-talian band will have
headed back east.  We urge all families to refrain from antagonizing the Pizzo
gang during their stay in the area."

There were many unconfirmed rumors that Lexington was to be the battleground
for the S-car mafioso faction war from the east, headed by Pizzo, and the more
heavily uncorrected dyno armed Colorado mafia, headed by Frank "the Don"
Amorosso.  The Denver region G12 distilled this rumor to be altitudely untrue, as
the "Don" was seen resting comfortably at his O1E residence near Boulder CO.
Further evidence of this was seen as his big block numbers men, Hap
"Hapersize" McGuire and Mike "correction factor" Pederson planning a tether to the
mustang of Scott "Torsen Boy" Justusson, the Chicago faction leader of this
hooligan audi group.  Interestingly, "Torsen Boy" was seen with "Pizzo" several times
in Lexington during the weekend, including during the incident in question.
This leads several insiders to believe the Chicago band has joined forces with
the NY contigent to add real wheel torque force to the growing Colorado
region toulene sea level threat.

Several network trucks were dispatched to Lexington, but by Monday all they
could film was the aftermath of Pizzo's destructive efforts.  "See how he bent
this rail?" said the pimply faced lad who first confronted Pizzo.  The locals
applaud his heroism, but won't publicly recognize his efforts, due to the
recent rumors of Pizzo's expanding connection with the Scooby-do gang.

In a separate incident, Bob "chim-chim" Dupree, the revered and feared head
of the Chicago "LT1Q" squad, was briefly detained in nearby Upper Sandusky for
possession of a bad five dollar bill.  He was questioned and released, but the
two incidents are now under intense local and national enforcement scrutiny.
A TSB has been issued for Pizzo, though no NTSB charges could be recalled.

Ronally Bendem
Staff Reporter