[s-cars] Quattro.... there is no substitute - just add JNR

Thu Feb 15 21:17:18 EST 2007

I'm quite ashamed to confess that I managed to exceed the winter JNRing
potential of the S-Bitch this morning on the first real foot of snow we got
in Montreal - first time I had to wait so long to exploit to plowing
potential of the S-Bitch.

Anyway, scaring a poor 530xi driver while I passed him on an inramp spinning
on four wheels went just fine, plowing all the small street I purposedly
choose on my commute was piece of cake - except that 2" thick whipers would
have been usefull - , covering a wide-tired WRX who tried to show me what
AWD traction means with my rooster tails was kind of fun, then power sliding
in the middle of oh-so-clean AMGs was definitely rewarding.

But every good thing goes to an end, and I had to park. Of course, with all
the time I enjoyed the somewhat extended commute, I was kind of late. All
the clean spots were taken. No problem, I thought, I just launched the
S-bitch rearward into a 2 feet high snow bank, the way I used to do with the
90Q20V. Then, because I'm a "reasonable" driver who always check everything
twice, I made sure I was not stuck. Of course, the two wheels on the
sidewalk side was off the ground, by a good 4". That's the way it's supposed
to be when you launch properly your Audi on a parking spot that really looks
like a snow bank. Something the locking rear differential of the 90Q20V
wouldn't even notice. But the EDL does, and sucks. Stuck! EDL can't take you
off a snow bank with only the driver side wheels on the ground. What's this
kind of "improvement".

So first thing goes first, I looked in trader.ca and spotted a nice '94 S4
for real cheap, already thinking that this time I could move the
locking switch to the steering wheel instead of the shift lever. Then I had
the S-Bitch towed off the snow bank and a mud guard teared off in the
process. It seems towings love to tear off mud guards. Twice on the S-Bitch,
3 times on the 90Q20V (You can still get stuck with a rear locking diff, you
just need to launch the car on a 3 feet high snow bank so no wheel touch the
ground, something I loved to do with the 90Q20V).

Vincent thinking that, may be, over a certain level, I should limit JNRing
to rental cars F

2007/2/15, Mark Strangways <StrangConst at rogers.com>:

> I begin to fear JNR may in fact not quite provide a full and accurate
> depiction of you guys anymore.
> We need to start looking for something a bit *stronger* :-)
> JNR indeed...
>
> Me poor Audi is sitting under a blanket with it's battery inside keeping
> warm.... I just can't seem to find the heart / time to go figure 8ing in
> it
> this year. Maybe next year after there are some scratches and dings in the
> paintwork.
> I am sure of one thing, it will protest this spring and want a few
> thousand
> dollars worth of attention / retribution money for leaving it alone all
> winter.
>
> Mark
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: <pkrasusky at ups.com>
> To: <s-car-list at audifans.com>; <wmahoney at disk.com>
> Sent: Thursday, February 15, 2007 10:27 AM
> Subject: Re: [s-cars] Quattro.... there is no substitute - just add JNR
>
>
> >
> > Taka Quattrolamented, Baloney confirmed, and Craig ponderedededed:
> >
> > <<<Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2007 00:12:50 GMT
> > From: "lebakken1 at netzero.net" <lebakken1 at netzero.net>
> > Subject: [s-cars] Quattro.... there is no substitute
> >
> > Bill shared:
> >
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> >
> > Yesterdaze chgo downfall left everyone here cryin like little weenie
> > babies.
> >
> > Nothing ever passes the torsen diffed pig with Nokians.  Nothing.
> >
> > Everything else is an all seasoned Pacer (or is it a Matador?)
> >
> > And since all the babies had to leave early, it opened the parking lot
> > for some figure 8's in 6" of fresh fluff.
> >
> > JNR
> >
> > Bill~so how do we get packed snow from the wheel rims~M
> >
> > <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
> >
> > Bill -
> >
> > You ain't seen weenie babies until you have seen 3-4" of snow fall
> > into a Seattle rush hour. People will leave their cars JUST ABOUT
> > ANYWHERE and walk. To where - I have no idea. Not all of these people
> > can live that close. Just effin' amazing. Give up and walk. The next
> > day the freeways, side roads - even the floating bridges across Lake
> > Washington are littered with abandoned cars. Closest thing to
> > Armageddon I have seen.
> >
> > My S4 mit new 215-55/16 Pilot Alpins goes anywhere. Only complaint -
> > the Eibachs run pretty low.... The center torsen just rocks. I can
> > only imagine how great it would be to have a rear one also. But the
> > center diff lock took me to places others dared not go. With ease.
> >
> > I can't imagine the frustration of a Haldex trying to tell me how to
> > drive without really know how itself. How can something like that get
> > designed, produced, and sold?
> >
> > Also - pray tell, what does JNR mean??
> >
> > Craig
> > 94 S4>>>
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Amen, me bruthas, amen.  4kq action here in CT was fun, passing in the
> > unplowed left lane doing speed limit+.  Gottalove it.  This, after I ran
> > out of gas (damn fuel leak) and THEN needed a jumpstart (damn f'n
> > battery) - defer to fact I'm Polish.
> >
> > I arrived to the orifice yesterday to an email from an equally (is this
> > possible) warped and twisted sicsic individual (scary thought)...  I
> > just have to share:
> >
> > *******Dear Lord...
> > Thank you for giving unto me the snowy commute this morning.
> > Thank you for placing twisty hilly roads betwixt my house and office.
> > Thank you Lord for granting me my twin cam Focus and for causing it to
> > understeer until my inputs bring about predictable oversteer.
> > Thank you for making my Focus so pleasing to drive on snow that I can
> > leave my Porsche in the toasty garage and still giggle like a palsied
> > retard while looking through the side glass to drive.
> > Thank you, dear Maker, for causing my maturity to halt at 12 years old
> > so that it would occur to me to pretend I was a World Rally driver this
> > morning.
> > And finally, while it may seem minor, if I might have just one moment of
> > your precious time I would thank you for making the synchromesh and for
> > causing the engineers to refine them to such an extent I can slam my rig
> > into reverse while the front wheels are still moving forward and the
> > ebrake is locking the rears so that I can pirouette in the Xtra Mart
> > parking lot like a homo in ballet slippers.
> > You are a generous and benevolent God.
> > Amen*********
> >
> > Man, that's some funny sheeeat.  This is the guy that stoved the large
> > tree atop me street in his S60 coming in a bit 'hot' one evening.  Hard.
> > Ooops.
> >
> > Jah Baloney, same here - waited till all the drones rushed outta here in
> > a panic and had the backlot to meself for JNR figure8ing.  So fun, so
> > juvenile.  WRT snow removal from wheels, man I hate that.  Feels like if
> > you proceed every nut and bolt will shudder clear off the car.  I either
> > heat my brakes up to 9 quabillion jules (not ideal) or keep a uberpov
> > snow brush in the car - brush on wood stick with scraper end removed -
> > and poke out the spokes.  Works well.
> >
> > Craig, Cody, et al...  JNR???  Falling asleep in class here again I see.
> > Well, first, as with all things - Blame Baloney - he coined it.  What is
> > it?  Hmmm...  it sorta defies definition / description.  Some sorta
> > spiritual embodiment that one needs years of years of
> > sicwarpedtwistedness to finely and properly hone.  A virtue not for the
> > squeamish / faint of constitution.  One of dem You want the Truth You
> > can't HANDLE the Truth sorta thangs really.
> >
> > -Paul not particularly, at all, whatsoever, Right, K.
> >
> > _______________________________________________
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> >
>
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