[s-cars] new @ Hurtz

[pkrasusky at ups.com]

Bill Hurtz'd:

<<<Date: Wed, 28 Feb 2007 10:41:29 -0600
From: "Bill Mahoney" <wmahoney at disk.com>
Subject: [s-cars] new @ Hurtz

FYI FWIW, or something:

"Hertz Prestige Collection Models:

Audi A6 Quattro Jaguar S-Type 
Audi A8L Quattro Jaguar X-Type 
Audi S4 Cabriolet Jaguar XJ8 
Cadillac Escalade Land Rover LR3 
Cadillac STS Lincoln Aviator 
Cadillac XLR Lincoln LS 
HUMMER H2 Lincoln Navigator 
Infiniti FX35 Volvo S80 Sedan 
Infiniti Q45 Volvo V70 Cross Country XC 
Infiniti QX56 
Special Hertz Services:
For Prestige Collection Renters 
Complimentary NeverLost? In-Car Navigation System -- Drive with
confidence
no matter where you are. ((Where? ever you are?)) All Prestige
Collection
Vehicles come equipped with NeverLost the GPS In-Car Navigation
Satellite
System - or their own factory installed navigation system. NeverLost?
functions as an automated navigator providing voice ((Help! Help!
Help!))and
visual directions as you drive from your current location to your next
destination."

S4 Cabriolet?
THIS is trouble for an undisclosed location.
Bill~OGOLON~M>>>




JNR excerpts / Sgt. Schultz seyz:

- Volvo S80 is muchmuchmuch more capable a cavitating holeshot (wheels a
go front wards / car a goes back wards) contender than you might think
and gladly absorbs NYC's finest potholes under full heavy braking /
powerslide withonly a hint of wheelbearingnoise found the next a.m..
BTW, 5mph rolling into Park evokes valet's into exclamating "you all are
trying to break that there car now aren't you" - why yes - yes - yes, we
are.  Warning!!!: - pirouetting through random water masses with windows
a down willst render you weteth.  Beware!!!:  - beachsanddunes will
catch you air.  Repeatedly.

- Most sadly, S80 round deux didn't fare as well - CV click aside, 6k
rpms and 3 mph trying to ascend a 0.00001% grade can be problematic
whilst trying to escape from Brooklyn  - thankgooooodness for
Crooklynite window smashy to give reason for midday exchange - NOTE -
Hurtz's finest near almost HELPED me transfer large quantities of cones
from said trunk to said replacement.  Huh.
  
- Lincoln LS V8 can be lulled into secret misfire mode when run @ the
limiter too long (not neaaaaaaarly as long as say the Mazda 6 4 banger -
read - entire length of I70 along the Gulf Coast from  Alabammy to New
Orleans in 3rd gear @ limiter - why - because), but the LS proved to
otherwise be *quite* the brakestanding cavitating holeshotting cone
sometimesdodging sometimes not surprisingly entertaining contender it
did (reference picture) 

 <<DSC03568.JPG>> 
- Jag XJ8s should be broken in more slightly more than say 250 miles on
odo before rental they should - purple smoke isn't normal you say???
And Hurtz really should consider shaving them $$$$ Michelin's down to
prevent turning them into something that looked rather chunky and
cheesegrated they should.  11:1 compression and a slight dampness to the
road willllllllll produce Guinness Book material for Comic Book Guy's
_longest_holeshot_ever_ award.  Would still be spinning had I not lifted
I fear, 2 years later.  Electrohydraulic ebrakes are Bizarro JNR
material - and - near worrisomely - can appear to remain engaged despite
one's best efforts.

- HELP!HELP!HELP! can only be uttered by RS4 Nav Chics - with Serge
sawing at the wheel >>> my endeavor to run the autox entirely in 1st
gear - at the limiter - while did prove to invoke Fastest Time of Day
did not invoke said Nav Chic oddly enough.  Hmph, I say.

- Mercury Marquiseseses produce fine and not particularly hard to induce
eu de Burnt Action Figure odiferous odors that permeate heater vents and
render your sinuses defenseless, also sticking to your clothes, hair,
skin, etc.

- Chevy Trailblazer SWB's can be surprisingly adept at cone sometimes
dodging sometimes not, and, in RWD mode brakestandholeshots are yer
friend.  Especially adept at forging curbs.  Happy to wag the tail under
throttle provocation.

- AnythinganythingANYthing Quattro scripted is NOT your friend at
Undisclosed Locations involved in Undisclosed Activities.  Witness
//Serge //Smellybadclutchbake.  

- Lastly, rentalcops in rusty S10s managed to damper the fun the last
1.5x - now THAT'S JNR.

You Want the Truth You Can't Handle The Truth.  Avoid "executive lease"
used car deals I always say.  And tire pressure gauges sold @ midnight @
Brooklyn corner stores should really read to higher than 55 - and NYC's
finest don't even raise a brow to two white boys exiting with
doublefisted Becks Kingers.  Hmmmm.

Mmmm...  Hurtz.  And, there's nothing 10,000,000cp cannot illuminate,
minds aside.

-JNR hisself