[V8] V8 Optionizing

Wed Feb 18 05:26:02 PST 2009

That was the funniest thing I ever read first thing in the morning. ;)
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

-----Original Message-----
From: "Roger Woodbury" <rmwoodbury at roadrunner.com>

Date: Wed, 18 Feb 2009 07:48:54 
To: 'Jeremy Ward'<jward.v8 at gmail.com>
Cc: <v8 at audifans.com>
Subject: [V8] V8 Optionizing

Dr. Roger opens the door to his study.  It is comfortably lit with warm
white bulbs.  Candles are burning on the fireplace mantle letting off a
slight haze, and there are two large, comfortable easy chairs on either side
of the cozy fire.

"Come in and sit down, Jeremy," Dr. Roger says.  "Make yourself comfortable.
Take a few deep breaths to organize your thoughts and then share your
Audivacillations.  Sharing Audivacillations is the way to The Cure."

Jeremy comes in and sits by the fireplace.  "I don't know where to begin
exactly, Dr. Roger.  I have a Cyclamen V8 which is the love of my life.  But
I bruised her nose...YES!  I DID IT! I DIDN'T STOP IN TIME AND I BRUISED HER
NOSE!"

Dr. Roger nods, and says, "yes, yes, go on."

"But Dr. Roger:  I didn't let the Evil Insurance Empire take her.  Oh, they
WANTED to: but I fought them off and kept her.  She DESERVES to be saved.
She is sooo beautiful!"

"I understand, Jeremy.  So what is the problem that has brought you here to
share today?"

"Well, I saw this Ragusa V8.  It called to me.  I tried, Dr. Roger, I TRIED
to turn away, but the siren song of a Ragusa...have you ever heard the siren
song of a Ragusa?....(Dr. Roger shakes his head, "no".)...well, I just
couldn't help myself, so I brought HER home with me.  And now, there is
another Audi who's song has come upon me.  I am thinking of her, and
thinking of bringing her home.  And if I did, then I could fix up Cyclamen's
bruised nose and she would be good forever."

"Yes, yes.  I see.  So a simple nose job makes Cyclamen whole again.  I see.
But to do this, probably Ragusa needs not to be there with her song.  I see.
But if Cyclamen were whole, the Audi Gods would extend forgiveness for the
error or your ways...."

Jeremy nodded enthusiastically, "yes, yes!"

"And you would have peace," concluded Dr. Roger.  And then he went on
slowly:  "So, Jeremy, tell me.  If the Ragusa with 82,000 miles went away so
you could achieve peace with Cyclamen, what would it take. Now, you told me
in the pre-interview that she needed a timing belt, but what would it take
if she went away and someone else gave her a timing belt and you and
Cyclamen could regain the path to wholeness.  Tell me everything."

Jeremy took a deep breath.  "Those incense candles are very powerful, Dr.
Roger."

"Oh, they're not insense.  Their Audinosense.  They're very special."

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