[V8] allroad V8: timing chains

[Roger M. Woodbury]

I dearly loved my V8's all three of them. I also loved my 200 Quattro 
Avant, my 200 20-valve Avant and the 100CS Avant Quattro which is now 
retired although still here.

But upon reflection, I am seriously doubting if the really pretty 
terrific cost of caring and feeding for these quite sophisticated 
vehicle was really worth it, despite the enjoyment I gained from them at 
the time.

Now, take the allroad V8, a vehicle which I coveted long and often, 
thinking that when we decided to go to only one vehicle, THAT would be 
the one to have:  V8, wagon body and good price used. Since I have a 
terrific mechanic who is remarkably gentle with me and my predilection 
for expensive toys, it might even be argued that it would be affordable.

That was until I seriously looked at the 4.2 litre allroad for what it 
really is:  an engineering marvel that is not usable as it ages, as a 
daily driver.

What I learned was that contrary to a lot of chatter, the air suspension 
is neither particularly complex or sophisticated. There are MANY after 
market parts that are actually better than the OEM stuff, supposedly and 
the repair process isn't terribly difficult.  So the interesting air 
suspension system is not the bogey man hiding beneath the sheet metal 
alone.  No, not at all: it's the engine.

Surprisingly, Audi's "brilliant" engineers reversed the engine, putting 
the timing gear at the rear. "Not to worry," they said. "We'll use a 
CHAIN so there will be no belt to fix."  Right.

Then they strung the chain with a bunch of plastic guides, and (if 
memory serves) THREE tensioners.  What happens is that at about sixty 
thousand miles or so, the first of the plastic guides starts to degrade 
and allows the chain so slap just a tad.  This worsens more and more and 
more loosening takes place because the plastic degrades with wear and 
heat and time.  Eventually one will break and the plastic part will ride 
the chain, or perhaps the chain will just have worn a sproket enough so 
that....well:  just imaging all those valves suddenly not knowing what 
their proper functioning order is.

And there are (again as I recall) THREE separate chains, and those 
chains and tensioners all make a wonderful "cha-ching" sound at the cash 
register.

So it's an engine pull job and must be done any old time after sixty 
thousand miles.

And all those bits and pieces that really NEED to be replaced "since 
we're in there" run a bill somewhere in the $8-10,000 range, once the 
motor is back in place.

And that's assuming the Tiptronic transmission is still running, of course.

There are those days when I do think about having another Audi. And yes, 
I still ponder an allroad.  And maybe I'll actually get one some day.  
That will need to be a sixty thousand mile car that has that tell-tale 
coffee can rattle when it is first started.

And costs about a grand to buy.  Otherwise, I'll pass.

Roger