[V8] On timing belts and such things

[Roger M. Woodbury]

I have succeeded going nearly entirely to the dark side. My only 
remaining Audi, the aged '94 100CS Avant sits in the back yard awaiting 
its final trip to the recycling yard aboard an auto transporter.  In the 
garage is my only vehicle at  the moment, my 2002 GMC pickup which has 
proven itself to be an excellent choice for our daily transport needs.

But we are beginning to search for another vehicle.  Once we move to the 
new home, the truck will be relegated to doing trucky things, probably 
not much more than pushing a plow in winter, the weekly trip to the 
recycling center and the rare trip to the lumber yard.  The daily 
driver, the vehicle that we use for the majority of our travels will be 
something else.

Now, lest  you think I am going over to the true darkness of SUV 
ownership, I dislike the idea and am resisting it with every erg of 
energy that I can muster.  It's really HARD.  We have come to the point 
in our society when paying more for fuel is a minor issue and having a 
Big Box to ride around in has somehow become cool.  But the ideal for me 
is something less or something more. I yearn for a good performing 
station wagon vehicle and I still remember with great fondness the 
pleasantness of driving my V8 Quattros, all in the past.

All that the world of automobile design can produce now is one variation 
or another on little boxes. The only difference between most of them is 
the number of creases and curls that someone raised on an X-box has 
decided is cool and accomplishes by an the functionings of an aggravated 
polycarbonate machine.  (I wonder how it is that oriental car makers can 
continually produce such ugly, grimmacing vehicles?).  I don't want one 
of those boxes.

No. What we want is something more like that last V8 Quattro I had but 
perhaps with a bit more utility.  A station wagon would be ideal, I 
think, but there are so very, very few available and at a price point 
that now, at my time in life, is just not fiscally responsible.  My 
budget is really around $12 grand, not nearly $30.

Recently I have seen a very intriguing vehicle going down the road. I 
forgot what it was actually, although it wasn't completely alien to me.  
Yes, it was a dreaded SUV-type of vehicle, but it seemed that sunny 
morning, to be the right size, it was a good color and as it whisked by 
on the opposite side of Route 3, I wondered what it was.

When I got home I did a little search on the Internet.  That SUV-like 
vehicle I saw was indeed, a sort of compact SUV, but this one was from 
Lincoln.  It was a 2010 Lincoln MKX and I found it's grille, which is 
what began all of it for me, to be rather interesting.  So I decided to 
do some more reading and found that they're "around" and with relatively 
low miles, priced in such a way that I found I could fantasize owning one.

So I did some more research.  Pretty good vehicle, it seems.

Well, ALMOST. Then I read a lot more about the V6 engine that Ford used 
in the thing. It's the same V6 (Ecoboost) V6 that they used in a whole 
lot of things, including the ubiquitous F-150.  Ok. Pretty good, but it 
did seem to me to be a pretty expensive engine to use in such a way, 
what with it's double overhead cams, can acutators, cam chains, etc.  
But OK, if Great-Grampa Henry's minions thought it was a good thing, 
then maybe it was.

Then I read about the class action suit now gathering steam because of 
that engine.

You see I really wanted to know if there was a timing belt involved.  
(There isn't).  And then I wanted to know what the service intervals 
were for the engine and therein I discovered Great-grampa Henry's 
minions' fatal flaw.  It's in the water pump.  Yeah.  I think a $50 part 
is going to end up costing FoMoCo a bazillion dollars.

You see, the water pump is located deep in the "V" of the V-6.  Not a 
bad thing, you say? Well, wait.  The geniuses in the engine design 
department put the water pump down there and made it work by having the 
timing chain drive it. It's INSIDE the front engine cover, itself a 
massive thing held in place against the block by twenty-seven bolts and 
LIQUID gasket.  Crammed sideways into the engine compartment, the 
engine's front cover is snug against the right front fender, nearly 
impossible to get to to remove.  Worse still, the water pump is BEHIND 
the timing chain and the second timing chain that works the cam 
actuators (I think the description said, anyway). And EVEN worse, IF the 
water pump outer seal leaks there is virtually NO way to tell, unless 
you or your oil change guy looks carefully, probably with a very small 
mirror, behind the alternator which totally blocks the left side view of 
the side edge of the engine cover.  There is a tiny weep hole that can 
allow coolant to escape to the outside behind the alternator and if by 
chance you see the tiny drip there, you could probably get the water 
pump replaced in time.

"In time"....what a tempting, delicious concept that, when talking about 
vehicle maintenance.  I mean, "in time" was getting the timing belt in 
the V8 Quattro changed when it was really over due, but changed "in 
time" to avoid it's breaking and making all sorts of nasty meetings with 
very expensive valves.  Ferdinand had the foresight to put a big 
rectangular RED light that came on when the timing belt in my Porsche 
928s needed their belts changed.  In the middle of the dark night once 
when driving back from Pennsylvania, that light went on and scared the 
devil out of me, it's hostile red brilliance telling me that timing belt 
failure was oh, so close!

But in that Lincoln MKX, there was no timing belt and in the owners 
manual of that car, not one single word spoke of the need to monitor the 
outside of the engine block behind the alternator for signs of potential 
water pump failure.  In fact, no mention of the water pump as a failure 
or replacement/servicing part at all. Anywhere.

Well, what does it matter?  Water pumps aren't a big deal, are they?  
Not like the time I had a water pump failure in my BMW 1600 Alpina in 
near Aberdeen, Maryland.  That was on a Friday night and the car sat in 
the rest area near the Maryland House restaurant on I-95 that night and 
on Saturday morning I went into  Baltimore (I think) and found the 
dealer who was open by the grace of god, bought a waterpump, and raced 
back to the parking lot, hoping the state trooper did as he said he 
would do, and let me keep the car there rather than tow it to impound 
which was the rule.  I was a new Air Force second lieutenant in those 
days and having the car towed wasn't in the budget. The water pump 
barely was.  It took all of Saturday afternoon to change the water pump 
and get the car going. No, that's not right.  It took about half an hour 
to change the water pump then about six hours to get the warm up valve 
to open and close properly once the engine was running.  I couldn't get 
the air out of the line entirely and the warm-up circuit hose got 
awfully hot after about fifteen minutes of squeezing it by hand....but I 
digress....it wasn't like the water pump in that Lincoln....

You see, the Lincoln has two gaskets.  The outer one can give a warning 
that something is wrong. But it's that inner one that is a killer.  
Because if the warning sign isn't seen in time, and the inner water pump 
seal gives way, antifreeze is then allowed to flow unimpeded down into 
the sump turning engine oil into an ugly, disgusting sort of milk-shake 
that will absolutely destroy all the lubrication needy parts of the 
engine. And there have been enough V6 engines destroyed this way to get 
a nice, ripe class action suit running against FoMoCo.

So, it's still a water pump, you say.  Just change it!.  Well, yes, I 
suppose. And I guess it can be done. IF I bought one of those cars, I 
would want to know that the water pump HAS been changed, figuring that 
if I bought one, it would have around 75,000 miles on it.  But there is 
no NEED to do it according to FoMoCo, so it doesn't get done unless it 
starts to fail.  Worse still the only REAL way to change the water pump 
in that engine is to drop the engine and transmission right out of the 
vehicle entirely, then undress the front of the engine, removing the 
timing chain cover, the chain and tensioners, the camshaft chain and cam 
actuators, and "while your in there" replace most of it.  Timing chains, 
guides tensioners and probably cam actuators and various and sundry 
seals.  One out, the front engine cover can properly be replaced using 
that liquid sealant and VERY carefully torquing those twenty-seven 
individual bolts. (I don't remember now if it is twenty-seven, 
twenty-three or twenty-nine but there are so many of them the front 
engine cover looks like something designed by a German engineer who just 
had to know that there was NEVER going to be a leak through a seam that 
his design was meant to seal. EVER.)

In the end the water pump change, done properly, will involve 10-14 
hours of labor and involve three or four hundred dollars in parts.  
Reminds you of the V8 Quattro timing belt/water pump deal now, doesn't it?

So, I think I'll pass. Too bad. I rather liked the looks of the thing, 
but for now, I'll just steer clear of anything from FoMoCo.  And I can't 
have one of those purely ugly Japaneseorotheroriental things, either. 
(Toyota has lifted ugly automotive design to a fine art which for some 
odd reason is being emulated by virtually every other automaker!).

But then, just when I thought all was lost and I'd be pushing my truck 
forever, I read a small review of a car that I NEVER thought would be at 
all of interest.  I read an article about how Buick is trying to 
reinvent itself. The car I was reading about was the Buick Regal.  This 
is really interesting:  a mostly German, GM car, with all wheel drive. 
Now I don't really want another four door sedan, but then I read that 
the rear seat backs fold down flat, opening the whole inside of the car 
to a flat platform from trunk to the back of the front seats.  And four 
wheel drive, which is essential for us living in the woods.  I'd love a 
Regal wagon...the TourX....but no, out of reach until they are seven 
years old mostly likely.  But then I saw a 2013 Regal for sale someplace 
(at a dealer), a one owner car with 70K, being offered for sale as a 
certified pre-owned Buick with two year warranty almost precisely at my 
price point.  And I am sure that if an offer was made for cash with no 
trade, that CPO Buick could be had at MY price.

No. I am not doing it today.  But it is worthy of continued 
consideration.  The Buick Regal, especially in GS trim might be the 
solution to my problem.  A worthy replacement for the memory of my V8 
Quattros, in a good performing, all wheel drive sedan with utility that 
owes its heritage to German engineering.

Who knows? Maybe in the end, I really would rather have a Buick.

Roger