Re: NOISY VALVES

["Barton P. Chambers" <bartonc@infi.net>]

Hi Bob,

> Did you ever see the "parody" press release that someone wrote up on
> Microsoft's announcement of "Bob", it was making the rounds of the net
> a few (several?) months ago...it was actually pretty well done, and
> pretty funny too...

Did you mean *this* following one?  Nope, I've never seen it.  How 'bout you?

		Microsoft Clarifies Trademark Policies

REDMOND, Washington--January 4, 1995--In response to customer inquiries,
Microsoft today clarified the naming policy for Bob(tm), its new 
software product designed for computer beginners.  Contrary to rumors, 
Microsoft will not demand that all persons formerly named "Bob" 
immediately select new first names.
    "I don't know where these rumors come from," commented Steve Balmer,
Microsoft Executive Vice President for Worldwide Sales and Support.  
"It's ridiculous to think Microsoft would force people outside the 
computer industry to change their names.  We won't, and our licensing 
policies for people within the industry will be so reasonable that the 
Justice Department could never question them."
    Balmer said employees of other computer companies will be given the
opportunity to select new names, and will also be offered a licensing 
option allowing them to continue using their former names at very low 
cost.
    The new licensing program, called Microsoft TrueName(tm), offers 
persons who want to continue being known by the name Bob the option of 
doing so, with the payment of a small monthly licensing fee and upon 
signing a release form promising never to use OpenDoc.  As an added 
bonus, Bob name licensees will also be authorized to display the Windows 
95 logo on their bodies.
    Persons choosing not to license the Bob name will be given a 60-day 
grace period during which they can select another related name.  "We're 
being very lenient in our enforcement of the Bob trademark," said Bill 
Newkom, Microsoft's Senior Vice President of Law and Corporate Affairs.  
"People are still free to call themselves Robert, Robby, or even Rob.  
Bobby however is derivative of Microsoft's trademark and obviously can't 
be allowed."
    Microsoft also announced today that Bob(tm) Harbold, its Executive 
Vice President and Chief Operating Officer, has become the first 
Microsoft TrueName licensee and will have the Windows 95 logo tattooed 
to his forehead.

Regards, 

Bob (the rutabega formerly known as Yer Kindly ol' Unka Bart)