Joe-Bob Goez Racin'

["Al Powell" <APOWELL@agcom.tamu.edu>]

Joe-Bob Worthington emerged from the holler to write:

> I have an AMC Eagle with AWD and a friend told me I can put a turbo from an
> Audi into it and then it should be able to win its class at the Pike's Peak
> hillclimb next year.  I'm a novice at this sort of thing but it sounds like
> lots of fun.  This car is certainly nicer to drive than the old 4x4 truck I
> had for several years and with all that extra traction, it goes much better
> than the Pacer and Gremlin I drove when I was going to taxidermy school.

Don't you find that the panache of driving a Gremlin with string tied 
to the wipers (to aid the return stroke - like my sister's old car) is 
hard to equal with the Eagle?  Aaaaahhh, those were the days!
 
> I've already bought a helmet and some white shoe polish for the numbers but
> I'm having a hard time deciding which Audi turbo is best for my car.  

Many on this list would surely write pages extolling the virtues of 
press-on numbers, which are much longer-lasting than shoe polish.  
Consider this seriously if your budget will permit!

> I saw
> this list was about Audi Quattros so I thought maybe somebody could give me
> an answer and help me save some time and money (Gee, this racing stuff is a
> big drain on the old checkbook ... I've already spent $45 and figure I'm in
> for at least another $500, perhaps more if I have my computer modified so I
> can get more HP.  Never can have too much power, right?).  

That's certainly true.  You might consider filling up your windshield 
waser reservoir with methanol and hooking the output hose to your 
carburetor.  This sophisticated modification is favored by many who 
want that extra "burst of pistons/power" when topping the hill.  Just 
push the washer button and it's "YEE-haw".  

And for extra power, I guess you better buy some Slick 50, 
Teflonstuff, and all the other oil treatments you can find on the 
shelf.  Just dump 'em all in and see if that doesn't give you a fw 
extra HP by reducing friction.  Hey!..Put two or three magnets around 
the pan, too, to align that motor with the magnetic surges of the 
earth.  Big ol' magnets cut offen some of them boom-box speakers are 
just about right.  (I read about this in one of them mimeographed 
newsletters back in the '60's.  I'm sure the auto manufacturers have 
suppressed this information since then, so's that people's cars will 
waear out faster and they'll sell more of 'em.)

> I found some 16"
> wheels from a pickup that fit so I can use racing tires but the guys at the
> local tire shop don't have any good used ones in stock yet.  

Hey - don't forget to check the wrecking yards!  Lotsa good "tarz" 
out there as long as you're willing to cut some patches out of other 
tarz and "boot" any holes worn thru.  And the price is right!!

> My friend Elmo
> is going to help me put in a rollbar and is scouring the local scrapyard to  
> find me some tubing with the right bends in it; if he strikes out, I have a
> neighbor down the way who said I can borrow some from his kids' swingset as
> they don't seem to use it very much now that they've got their licenses and
> all.

If that doesn't work, consider making one out of 2x4's - much easier 
to work with and you kin cut'em to fit just right inside that 
driver compartment.  Make sure to put em together with deck screws, 
though - the vibrations will shake nails loose.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for your help with this.  It's hunting season right now so I
> am fairly busy at work but once that's over with, I plan to start on my car
> immediately.  Oh, yeah, before I forget: I've borrowed this account from my
> city-slicker cousin -- I don't have a computer yet; still waiting for a 286
> at a decent price -- so if you respond, make sure you let him know it's for
> me and not him.  He's promised to forward everything to me.  Long-live AMC!
> 
> Joe-Bob Worthington
> Hashman's Hollow, Ark.

Shoot - who needs a computer.  We-all on this list are so happy 
we're just stupefied when we gets to he'p a fine feller like yew.

And BTW, that advice you already got from Bob & Bob is just dandy.  
You best heed it! 

Shoot, this list is so much fun at Christmas, I kin hardly wait fer 
April 1!!

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Al Powell                           Voice:  409/845-2807
Ag Communications                   Fax:    409/862-1202
107 Reed McDonald Bldg.             Email:  a-powell1@tamu.edu 
College Station, TX  77843-2112
W3 page - http://agcomwww.tamu.edu/agcom/rpe/alpage.htm

       "I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy."
           - J.C. McKay, Wisconsin St. Elections Board.
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***