[Author Prev][Author Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Author Index][Thread Index]
Re: Joe-Bob Goez Racin'
Now THAT'S Funny Stuff!
>Joe-Bob Worthington emerged from the holler to write:
>
>> I have an AMC Eagle with AWD and a friend told me I can put a turbo from an
>> Audi into it and then it should be able to win its class at the Pike's Peak
>> hillclimb next year. I'm a novice at this sort of thing but it sounds like
>> lots of fun. This car is certainly nicer to drive than the old 4x4 truck I
>> had for several years and with all that extra traction, it goes much better
>> than the Pacer and Gremlin I drove when I was going to taxidermy school.
>
>Don't you find that the panache of driving a Gremlin with string tied
>to the wipers (to aid the return stroke - like my sister's old car) is
>hard to equal with the Eagle? Aaaaahhh, those were the days!
>
>> I've already bought a helmet and some white shoe polish for the numbers but
>> I'm having a hard time deciding which Audi turbo is best for my car.
>
>Many on this list would surely write pages extolling the virtues of
>press-on numbers, which are much longer-lasting than shoe polish.
>Consider this seriously if your budget will permit!
>
>> I saw
>> this list was about Audi Quattros so I thought maybe somebody could give me
>> an answer and help me save some time and money (Gee, this racing stuff is a
>> big drain on the old checkbook ... I've already spent $45 and figure I'm in
>> for at least another $500, perhaps more if I have my computer modified so I
>> can get more HP. Never can have too much power, right?).
>
>That's certainly true. You might consider filling up your windshield
>waser reservoir with methanol and hooking the output hose to your
>carburetor. This sophisticated modification is favored by many who
>want that extra "burst of pistons/power" when topping the hill. Just
>push the washer button and it's "YEE-haw".
>
>And for extra power, I guess you better buy some Slick 50,
>Teflonstuff, and all the other oil treatments you can find on the
>shelf. Just dump 'em all in and see if that doesn't give you a fw
>extra HP by reducing friction. Hey!..Put two or three magnets around
>the pan, too, to align that motor with the magnetic surges of the
>earth. Big ol' magnets cut offen some of them boom-box speakers are
>just about right. (I read about this in one of them mimeographed
>newsletters back in the '60's. I'm sure the auto manufacturers have
>suppressed this information since then, so's that people's cars will
>waear out faster and they'll sell more of 'em.)
>
>> I found some 16"
>> wheels from a pickup that fit so I can use racing tires but the guys at the
>> local tire shop don't have any good used ones in stock yet.
>
>Hey - don't forget to check the wrecking yards! Lotsa good "tarz"
>out there as long as you're willing to cut some patches out of other
>tarz and "boot" any holes worn thru. And the price is right!!
>
>> My friend Elmo
>> is going to help me put in a rollbar and is scouring the local scrapyard to
>> find me some tubing with the right bends in it; if he strikes out, I have a
>> neighbor down the way who said I can borrow some from his kids' swingset as
>> they don't seem to use it very much now that they've got their licenses and
>> all.
>
>If that doesn't work, consider making one out of 2x4's - much easier
>to work with and you kin cut'em to fit just right inside that
>driver compartment. Make sure to put em together with deck screws,
>though - the vibrations will shake nails loose.
>>
>> Anyway, thanks for your help with this. It's hunting season right now so I
>> am fairly busy at work but once that's over with, I plan to start on my car
>> immediately. Oh, yeah, before I forget: I've borrowed this account from my
>> city-slicker cousin -- I don't have a computer yet; still waiting for a 286
>> at a decent price -- so if you respond, make sure you let him know it's for
>> me and not him. He's promised to forward everything to me. Long-live AMC!
>>
>> Joe-Bob Worthington
>> Hashman's Hollow, Ark.
>
>Shoot - who needs a computer. We-all on this list are so happy
>we're just stupefied when we gets to he'p a fine feller like yew.
>
>And BTW, that advice you already got from Bob & Bob is just dandy.
>You best heed it!
>
>Shoot, this list is so much fun at Christmas, I kin hardly wait fer
>April 1!!
>
>*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
>
>Al Powell Voice: 409/845-2807
>Ag Communications Fax: 409/862-1202
>107 Reed McDonald Bldg. Email: a-powell1@tamu.edu
>College Station, TX 77843-2112
>W3 page - http://agcomwww.tamu.edu/agcom/rpe/alpage.htm
>
> "I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy."
> - J.C. McKay, Wisconsin St. Elections Board.
>*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Mark Shilling
Texas Chemical Council
shilling@txchemcouncil.com
81 4k4e (gone)
82 4k 5+5 (gone)
90 80 2.0 (sagging)