Re: 328is v. Jeep CJ 4x4 in Snow

["Paul D. Bird" <pbird01@mail.orion.org>]

FOUR IN A ROW SAID THE CROCIDILE TO THE HUNTIING DOG



In the far off land of Santo Dinpo there was a man by the name of Captain 
Mongolia.  He was a rightous lad who's only great pleasure came from 
waiting for his beard to grow after he had shaved.  Many took a delighted 
pleasure in taunting the Captain and ramming he with their helmets.  
Although he w tolerant at first he soon was to discover that he hated all 
man kind, including the beloved Ted Coppel.  We join the young captain on 
his sixteenth birthday in his home on Mt. Pennesnsula.

	The day had been good for Captain Mongolia, he had recieved eight 
gifts from himself since he had no relatives.  He was born from a freak 
accident between a computer and a tank of walrus saliva.  He did not know 
this however, because his father the walrus saliva had died during the 
Captain's inauguration as head of the freak department at the University 
of Montreal.  So as CM (Captain Mongolia) went to bed that night he 
thought of his parents.  He had never known them, but he imagined that 
they were powerful and famous and that he was alone because of the 
mardardom for the nucular holocaust.  Little did CM know just how right 
he was.
	When CM awoke in the morning he reeked from wetting himself and 
there was a taunting party gathered outside his house. "It was going to 
be another bad day," thought CM as he stepped outside to let the taunting 
comense.  After being rammed especially hard by a young man, CM fell to 
the ground in exasperation, and shut his eyes.  No sooner had he done 
this then he saw his father the Walrus saliva! CM was dissapointed to 
find out that his father was only saliva. Surprized he was to see his dad 
clad in costly apparell and a crown of capricorns on his brow.  
	His father told CM of his life story.  He spoke of how he had 
been a great king over his people, but soon bad people came to his 
people.  The bad people were not kind to his people and made his people 
work for even more bad people and then the good people died leaving only 
the bad people and the bad people's friends who were the even worse 
people.  The great king was sad to see his people die.  So he set out to 
find a way to kill the bad people and the bad people's friends.  The bad 
people's friends were so bad however that they were able to enchant King 
Walrus Saliva's computer as he scaned the Internet for plastic 
explosives.  They made computer give off radiation so that it,was as if 
it were alive and then it exploded.
	CM 's father then finished by explaining that the explosion 
combined with radiation had created him and that the bad people's friends 
plan had backfired.  Because CM was now the rightful king of Mt.  
Pinnensula and that he should go and reclaim his kingdom from the bad 
people.  His father then gave CM some powers that he could use: 1. He 
made Captain Mongolia so that he was no longer a plum retard. 2. He gave 
the Captain a rock made of stone. 3. Nothing, the walrus forgot to bring 
the third item.  And with that his father bade him farewell and vanished 
as the saliva sank into the dry ground.  CM then relized he had been 
looking at his own saliva and his stunned brain had dreamed the whole 
thing.  He knew this because he still was a rotten retard.  CM got up and 
went inside.
	He fummed all day about the beating he had recieved and how he 
wished his dream had been real.  He suddenly felt a rush of anger and he 
rammed his forehead into his elbow.  He then relized how good it felt to 
lash out and to inflict pain, he could only imagine how it would feel to 
do it to someone else.  So he ran out side and smasbed a dog with his 
forehead and then smashed his head in with the rock made of stone that 
his father gave him in his imaginary dream.  He then relized that his 
vision had been real but he did not care, he now wanted nothing but to 
destroy the world with his pimply forehead.
	As CM made his way from house to house smashing things, he was 
soon joined by others he wished to help in the quest.  He was joined by a 
tornado, a carriage with four wizards inside, and a wooly mammoth.  They 
traveled together through thick and thin fowr- fourty-five minutes and 
then   	 the Wizards killed the tornado, Captain Mongolia, and the wolly 
mammoth.
	It was then completely the Wizards and their carriage to take 
over the world and carry out the wishes of their friends they had just 
killed.  So they headed south over a mountain of chairs in their living 
room and entered the land of Licemup.  There they were challenged twice 
by modern technology and the were killed both times.  As a bank worker 
pulled their charred bodies out of the school yard he remarked, "this was 
the worst attempt to take over the world I have ever seen,".  The man was 
right, the the events that transpired were recorded as the most lame 
attempt at world domination ever.



BASED ON A TRUE STORY

Written by The National Association for the Advancement of Captain
Mongolia.

(c)1996 ReTran Corp Written By Danny Jones
comments to: pbird01@mail.orion.org