Re: (Fwd) FW: Automotive Tools [humor] (fwd)

[Mitch Loescher <Loescher@tamu.edu>]

At 01:09 PM 5/24/96 CDT, you wrote:
>The following hit my desk during lunch.  I understand that it should 
>be credited to Mr. Peter Egan of Road & Track Magazine, in his 
>column, "Side Glances".  Because of its origin in a copyrighted 
>publication, I ask that it not be re-posted to any newsgroups or 
>listservs.  I am also informed that Mr. Egan's colums are often very 
>much worth reading!
>
>But I thought you folks deserved to see it.....
>
>>Automotive Tools................

[humor snipped]

To which I'll add the following additional garage-dwellers:

ALLEN HEAD BOLTS:  Found mainly on German cars.  A cold war development of
the KGB, originally developed and sold to put the Sears Roebuck Co. out of
business one allen-socket at a time.

THE "BENTLEY" MANUAL:  Book written using "old" math where somehow 27.25 is
greater than 27.3

RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR:  Any of a class of devices or computer programs
used to make sure the Delco AC programmer air distribution system is working
properly.  Historians believe that a device such as this may have played a
role in the typesetting of the Bentley Manual (see above).

17mm ALLEN WRENCH:  A tool who's distribution is strictly limited by the
U.S. government to prevent German car owners from being able to change their
gear oil.

POWER STEERING FLUID:  A benign chemical that serves as an excellent
hydraulic fluid with outstanding lubricating properties and that is
inexpensive and widely available.  It's only known incompatibility with any
material present on Earth is with Audi power steering components.

HYDRAULIC VALVE LIFTERS:  Audi engine components whose purpose is to alert
the operator that the otherwise dangerously smooth and quiet engine is running.

BRAKE-GEAR SELECTOR INTERLOCK:  Late 1980's invention to insure that
Darwin's theories aren't overapplied.

 - Mitch Loescher