Darwin Award... No Audi Content, thankfully

[Gross Scruggs <GScruggs@wposmtp.nps.navy.mil>]

Ever heard of the Darwin Award?  I've forgotten who gives it but is an award
given, posthumously, to the person that kills themselves in the most creative
fashion and thereby proving 'survival of the fittest.'

Seems that our west somewhere at the end of a several mile-long straight the
highway turns at the foot of a mountain.  One morning the highway patrol found
what they thought was an airplane crash at the bottom of the mountain right at
the turn, still smoking and virtually no recognizable pieces.  After
considerable research and lab analysis they figured out what had happened.  This
guy had gotten hold of a JATO rocket, probably from one of those surplus
warehouses, and thought it would be neat to strap it into the trunk of his '76
Impala and see how fast it would go.  

Now a JATO rocket is designed to boost heavily laden cargo  aircraft from short
fields into the air.   It is not uncommon for these aircraft to weigh 200,000lb
and they use these rockets in groups of six or eight.  

So he straps this thing in the trunk and drives out to this straight streach and
fires the JATO unit.  They found burn marks on the road where he must have
launched and analysis indicated he hit the mountain side about four miles away
in about 60sec, at a speed of about 350mph, about 150ft above the road.  They
found the brakes were burned off the car well before impact and the tires were
probably shredded during the second mile.  The identity of the driver was never
determined as there was not enough left for a conclusive DNA test.  In fact the
only evidence the car had been inhabited was some teeth imbedded in the steering
wheel.  Whether the teeth were imbedded befor or after the impact was not
established.  



... makes me feel not-quite-so-stupid when I hit my head on a kitchen cabinet
door.

Regards, Gross Scruggs