Marginal Audi content but funny

[Jean DeVour <JDevour@wk.com>]

Except for the crack about the 90 of course. :-)

> >What your car says about your personality..... 
> >
> > Acura Integra  - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars 
> > Acura Legend  - I'm too bland for German cars
> > Acura NSX  - I am impotent
> > Audi 90   - I enjoy putting out engine fires
> > BMW Sports Coupe - I'm in my 50s but hope to attract chicks 
> > BMW Sedan - I'm a yuppie saddled with a family
> > Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states 
> > Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman 
> > Cadillac Seville  - I am a pimp
> > Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating the hell out of people
> > Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them 
> >I have a 'Vette
> > Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis
> > Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the 
> >government
> > Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather
> > Datsun 280Z  - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
> > Dodge Dart  - I teach third grade special education and I voted for 
> >Eisenhower
> > Dodge Daytona  - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car 
> > Ferrari Testarossa - I am known to prematurely ejaculate
> > Ford Explorer  - I will not be caught dead in a mini van 
> > Ford Fairmont  - (See Dodge Dart)
> > Ford Mustang  - I slow down to 85 in school zones
> > Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change 
> >lanes when I pull up behind them
> > Geo Storm  - I will start the 11th grade in the fall
> > Geo Tracker  - I will start the 12th grade in the fall
> > Honda del Sol  - I have always said, half a convertible is better than 
> >no convertible at all
> > Honda Civic  - I have just graduated and have no credit
> > Honda Accord  - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming 
> > Infiniti Q45  - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending
> > Isuzu Impulse  - I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports
> > Jaguar XJ6  - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 
> >280 days per year
> > Kia Sephia  - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp 
> > Lamborghini Countach - I only have one testicle
> > Lexus - I'm pretentious and shallow and have no misgivings at all about 
> >spending 40+ thousand on a Toyota
> > Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers 
> > Mercury Grand Marquis - (See above)
> > Mercedes 500SL - I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
> > Mercedes 560SEL - I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole 
> > Mercedes 300 Sedan - I'm finally making money but I'm afraid to spend 
> >it
> > Mazda Miata  - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler 
> > MGB   - I am dating a mechanic
> > Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either
> > Nissan 300ZX  - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings
> > Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a 
> >fortune off the parts
> > Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List 
> > Plymouth Neon  - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
> > Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock 
> > Porsche 911 Turbo - I have a three inch thingie
> > Porsche 944  - I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be 
> >inaccessible to me
> > Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchanon is a tad bit too 
> >liberal
> > Saturn SC2  - (See Honda Civic)
> > Subaru Legacy  - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior 
> >than Isuzu
> > Toyota Camry  - I am still in the closet 
> > Toyota Van - Have bed, will travel
> > Triumph - I have more money than sense (See MGB)
> > Volkswagen Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns 
> > Volkswagen Cabriolet - I am out of the closet
> > Volkswagen Microbus - I am tripping right now 
> > Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife
> > Volvo 240 Sedan - I have an entry-level job but aspire to be mediocre