Junk snail mail - some Audi content

[quk@isham-research.demon.co.uk (Phil Payne)]

In message <UPMAIL13.199711151523010781@classic.msn.com> "Ian J Haseltine" writes:

> The magazine contains an article by someone called Andrew Everett titled 'The 
> legend expires'. In this he uses a test drive in a very early (1981) Ur 
> quattro to conclude that the Ur is cr@p by modern standards.

I don't think this story has been told to the list in general yet, though it's 
caused something of a fuss in certain circles and has earned me the epithet of 
"smartass".  Thus my full and qualified UK quattro Owners Club name is now 
'Phil (smartass) Payne".
 
Just over a month ago, I received a phone call from an ur-quattro owner.  He 
was 'very concerned' about the performance of his car and had been referred to 
me by one of the more prominent spares dealers as 'someone who knew the MB 
engine'.  I wish, but that's a digression.
 
Roger Galvin and I inspected this vehicle in pitch darkness in a pub car park 
in Buckinghamshire.  For my sins, I got in and test drove it for five miles.  I 
have not driven such a poorly performing vehicle for many, many years - I was 
reminded forcibly of early diesel Sierras with flat tyres on diagonally 
opposing corners.  Four inches (!!) of brake pedal travel.  Most BMWs handle 
better than this car.
 
No performance - dead WOT switch.  No handling - mixed Yokohama (1), Goodyear 
(2), Pirelli (1).  All tyres inflated at different pressures - range 18psi to 
40psi.  Brakes full of air.  Rear tie rods undisturbed.  Cold start valve 
unplugged (MAC12).  Hose from wastegate frequency valve to wastegate 
disconnected.

It sucked.  It was _AWFUL_.  I lie awake at night wondering how many people 
test drove this vehicle at a dealer's and despise us ur-quattro drivers.
 
(Well, the last was hyperbole.  But you know what I mean.)

-- 
 Phil Payne
 Committee Member, UK Audi [ur-]quattro Owners Club