FW:You might be a racer if...

[quk@isham-research.demon.co.uk (Phil Payne)]

In message <3.0.5.32.19980727131034.008457e0@mail.teleport.com> John Karasaki writes:

> You sometimes hear little noises from your passengers when you get on the
> throttle right after turning in.

No.  Nervous movements - they grab things and suck air through clenched
teeth.

> You thoroughly enjoy showing the tailgater behind how to drive around a
> highway off-ramp.

Yup.  Once did it to a police car.  Got stopped - no offence alleged.

> You look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment.

This is meant to be _humour_?

> More than one racer supply house recognizes your voice and greets you by
> name when you call.

All five of the parts guys at Autohaus recognise my voice.

> You have car parts in your cubicle at work.

Does having a metering head on the desk count?

> You have a separate drawer for 'garage clothes'.

Sure.  Ever smelt 'cooked oil' on a business suit?  I keep my garage
clothes in a separate _room_.

> You astound the clerk at Sears by bringing in a snapped breaker bar every
> other week or so.

No. 2 crosshead screwdriver bits, actually.  But the principle's the
same.

> You complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't stay on
> the line, causing your exit speed to drop.

Doesn't everyone?

> You refer to the corner down the street from your house as "Turn One."

LOL.  My kids call it the "bum-settler" because I wriggle back into the
seat just before we hit it.

>- You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work or school.

C'mon - I drive an ur-quattro.

> You always late apex the intersection and try to pass a few cars coming
> out.

At least three.  Trucks count three, but two trucks only counts five.

> You can't stand understeer.

In an ur-quattro?  Kill it with the pedal on the right.

>  You will gladly pay up to $8 for a quart of engine oil.

Mobil 1 is close to twice that here.

> You save broken car parts as " momentos".

ROFL.  Now why _have_ I still got a pressure regulator with a tag tied
to it saying: "Bust.  4.8 bar."

> The local police and state Highway Patrol have a picture of your car
> taped to their dashboard.

In their words: "We can't catch you, but we know who you are."

> You have racing shops programmed on on your speed dialer.

Well, parts.  Five of 'em.

--
 Phil Payne
 Phone: 0385 302803   Fax: 01536 723021
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