FW: Europe's Official Language (no Audi content)

["Clough, Samuel" <SClough@irps.atl.invesco.com>]

I thought this might lighten the mood a little.  Please delete if you don't
like.

Samuel W. Clough
Invesco Retirement Plan Services
404-575-3571

> -----Original Message-----
> From:	Anderson, Renick (GES.JAX) [SMTP:RANDERSO@NA2.US.ML.com]
> Sent:	Thursday, February 04, 1999 2:46 PM
> To:	'khimcheedesigns@hotmail.com'; Sanon-Jules, Ralph (SOM-GES);
> 'sclough@irps.atl.invesco.com'; 'wcandido@visus.jnj.com';
> 'windsor.mcintosh@convergys.com'
> Subject:	FW: Europe's Official Language
> 
> 
> 
> 			****    Europe's Official Language    **** >
> 			The European Union commissioners have announced that
> agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for
> European communications, rather than German, which was the other
> possibility.
> 			The German government had waged an almost fanatic
> battle in favor of their language being the standard for the European
> Union
> but relented when the commissioners agreed to a few minor concessions.
> 			As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's
> Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement
> and
> has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish
> (Euro for short).
> 			In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the
> soft "c".  Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.
> Also,
> the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up
> konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
> 			There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
> sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will
> make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.
> 			In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new
> spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes
> are possible.
> 			Governments will enkorage the removal of double
> letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
> agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and
> they would go.
> 			By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps
> such as replasing "th" by z" and "w" by v.
> 			During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd
> from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to
> ozer
> kombinations of leters.
> 			After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten
> styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi
> tu
> understand ech ozer.
> 			Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
>