Fire's Back!

["Scruggs, Gross" <GScruggs@monterey.nps.navy.mil>]

I would like to announce that I have cleverly deduced source the no-start
problem, rectified same, and vehicle is running fine... I really, really
would.  But I can't.
Towed said Pearl white '87 5kCSq back to homeplate behind trusty Trooper and
proceeded to shoot some troubles.  Ace good-ole-boy at local German car shop
says his preliminary check shows no Hall signal, so with that in mind I
start by pulling codes.  4444.  Naaa, I say, can't be and do it again.
4444.  What the H, E, double hockey sticks is going on here, I querry of
self.  Either I have a very simple problem... or I have a verrrry bad
problem.
3 ½ year-old daughter wanders up and says, "Dadu, is your car out of gas?  I
explain to the precocious miniature monkey lass all about the situation,
including that the gauge shows ¼ tank and the car has traveled about 240mi
on that tank... and that is about the right distance.  Nonetheless, I wait
until she goes inside before I sneak in a gallon of my
mega-octane-mega-expensive racing gas into the tank.  With mounting dread I
jump the fuel pump relay for a few seconds and then try the starter.  Nice
whirring sounds, no start... Yesss! I'm not a fool!!
I continue the process by removing the MSD ignition system from the system
and am greeted with a running engine.  Aahhhhaa!  Bad MSD... those things
happen, I'll just UPS it back with a nasty-gram and demand justice.  But
just in case... I reconnect it into the system and try it again... and am
once again greeted with a running engine.  At this point your humble
reporter grows .. ever .. increasingly .. perplexed.
Not only is the engine now running but has developed what sounds like a
single, very loudly ticking lifter... a completely new occurrence.  So I add
my last ½ pint of Marvel Mystery Oil to the crankcase to address the lifter,
let it idle some more, and begin to notice the idle is degrading.  And the
engine dies.  Restarting it several times the idle rpm decreases slowly
through 800 down to zero.  Off comes the ISV for a quick cleaning, lube, and
reinstallation.  Now it idles, but looking at the Air/Fuel Ratio meter shows
that it is idling dead rich... 9 of 10 LEDs lighted!  
OooKaaaa... hook up the Sunpro and have a look at the mixture and move it
gently to the rich side of the optimum 50% and the AFR meter is now cycling
back and fourth as it should.  Test drive and all appears to be working
nicely.
Gathering all my scientific training, all my engineering knowledge, my 35
years experience fiddling with cars and things mechanical... my conclusion
is that I must have driven through some kind of force field that temporarily
disabled the ignition system of the car.  I took things apart and put them
back together, I found nothing decidedly wrong, and now everything works.
Yep... clearly one of those Government black programs must be testing here
at the Naval Postgraduate School and I just wandered through some kind of
'disrupter beam.'  I'm not worried, though, I'll just keep on driving... but
I do now carry the cell phone, a tow rope, and keep a layer of aluminum foil
inside my hat... just in case.
Well, at least the lifter noise went away..
Thanks to all that responded to my crisis... my "no start" file now bulges
with good ideas.

Regards, Gross Scruggs