Audi US - Dumb Response Team

[Don Muirhead <dmr@kwic.com>]

Long - but oh so typical of Audi...

When I got home today I had a message to call Melisa at Audi US.  I had 
called them a while ago about getting a parts list for a plastic lid PN # 
857 827 019 B for an '86 CGT.

Phil Payne and Kneale Brownson responded from the list and both of these 
great guys faxed me the EKTA illustration and parts list.

Here's what Melisa told me (I taped the conversation)

I'm sorry Mr. Muirhead for taking so long to get back to you. 
 Unfortunately, we have no information on this part and you will have to 
contact your Dealer and have them order these parts for you.

But Melisa, the Dealer can't order the parts because they don't have the 
microfiche for this lid and they were the ones who told me to contact you.

Who is your Dealer Mr. Muirhead and who did you speak to in their Parts 
Department.

Dalmar Motors in London, Ontario - Ralph in parts is my contact.

May I call you back in a few minutes Mr. Muirhead I would like to verify 
something.

Sure Melisa, I'll be here.

About 5 minutes later.....

Mr. Muirhead, I just spoke to Ralph at Dalmar Motors.  He remembers 
speaking to you about this part and told me their microfiche for your 
vehicle does not have the parts listed for this particular lid.

Yes Melisa I know that - that's why I'm calling you.

I'm sorry Mr. Muirhead but you will have to order the parts from your 
Dealer and if they can't get them then there is nothing we can do.

But Melisa, the car was purchased new by me in Canada from an authorized 
Audi Dealer.  The car came with this lid so how am I going to get parts? 
 All I want is a list of the parts and the part numbers.

I'm sorry Mr. Muirhead but you will have to call Audi.

Melisa you are Audi.

I'm sorry Mr. Muirhead I meant Audi in Germany - do you have the number?

Oh, Melisa - think about what you just said, why would I have the telephone 
number for Audi in Germany.

Here it is Mr. Muirhead 011495361970334, please provide them with your case 
reference number.

Melisa - am I to understand that although I purchased this car new, in 
Canada from an authorized Audi Dealer I can not order parts for my car here 
and must order them from Germany?

That is correct Mr. Muirhead obviously your car was imported from Germany.

All Audi's are imported from Germany Melisa, what does my file tell you.

Mr. Muirhead, it says you have a 1986 Audi Quattro Coupe with you purchased 
from Queensway Volkswagen Audi in Toronto.

Melisa, It isn't a Quattro, it's a CGT.

Mr. Muirhead you are mistaken, according to your VIN# you purchased a 1986 
Audi Quattro Coupe.

Fine Melisa, but you agree I purchased this "Quattro" in Canada.

Yes Mr. Muirhead, but according to your VIN#  this vehicle was not imported 
to Canada.

Melisa, it's a North American VIN#

I'm sorry Mr. Muirhead, I meant the Part Number - this Part Number was not 
any product sold in Canada and I cannot help you.

Oh, Melisa - you've been extremely helpful and knowledgeable you have a 
great day.

Meanwhile, I'm busting my gut laughing.  I pick up the phone call Ralph at 
Dalmar - he's laughing like hell.

Not only did Phil and Kneale supply me with the list, I faxed Ralph a copy 
and he ordered the parts for me on Monday.  With the exception of one item 
on back-order these will be delivered tomorrow.  Audi US stock these parts 
and sent them via courier to their Canadian parts warehouse.

However, to prove how badly customer support is at Audi, I'm seriously 
thinking about calling Germany and continue with this saga - just to see 
how screwed up Audi is.

Don
'99 A4
'96 S6
'86 CGT x 2 (bonus - one's a "Q")