NAC - [Fwd: One Hell of a Question]

[Michael Murphy <mmurphy@nais.com>]

Some (more) humor on the company's internal email system - 
author hails from the London Office.  -- MJM

> Subject:  One Hell of a Question
> 
> Hell & Logic
> The following is an actual question given on a University Chemistry
> Mid Term test:
> 
> Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)
> 
> Support you answer with proof.
> 
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's law
> (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or
> some variant.  One student, however, wrote the following:
> 
> First, we must know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.  So, we
> need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate
> they are leaving.  I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets
> to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
> 
> As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
> religions that exist in the world today.  Some of these religions
> state if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
> Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not
> belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and
> all souls go to Hell.
> 
> With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
> souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

> Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
> Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in
> Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are
> added.  This gives two possibilities.
> (1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
>     souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
>     increase until all Hell breaks loose.
> (2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
>     increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will
>     drop until Hell freezes over.
> So which is it?
> 
> If we accept the postulate given to me by  Ms. Theresa Banyon during
> my Freshman year that 'it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep
> with you,' and take into account the fact that I still have not
> succeeded in sleeping with her, then (2) cannot be true, and thus I
> am sure Hell is exothermic.
> 
> The student got the only A.