The lowest common denominator (was: Valentine/WSP (low Audi content))

[lxl <lxl@dnai.com>]

Igor Kessel wrote:
> 
> 
> Brilliant!
> Read with great interest, took a mental note and stashed away in the *Audi* file.
> Thanks.
> 
> --
> Igor Kessel
> '89 200TQ - 18psi (TAP)
> '97 A4TQ - on the dealer's lot
> Philadelphia, PA
> USA

Well, and I did not even ask for "supporting deposition" as
it is described in http://www.motorists.com/casey.htm (I
simply had no clue, it does exist in NY). But the "system"
collapsed even without it.

Anyway, from the case it was clear: the court, troopers and
the entire "ticket mill" in Mamakating was dumb. Presented
enough paperwork with a long list of crossreferences they
simply could not handle it (i.e. READ(!) ) it. The statements
of the prosecutor like "beyond People's burden" or similar ones
(I have all this mess in writing!) actually do mean: "I cannot read
and understand all this! Dear "speeder", please give us a break and
save our face"

Re-lawyers. I called one in Mamakating, he was just exited about
the possibility to "defend" an out-of-stater. I told him, I did
some paperwork and it would be make sense, he reads all this before
we agree on the $$$$. He was happy to give me his fax. I faxed him
all this and called the guy later. The lawyer was totally upset. He
asked me, why I do all this - "man, it's just a speeding ticket, and
you made an O.J. case of this! How I can handle it now?" He wasn't
friendly anymore... and I saved myself several hundreds of $ and a
nasty lawyer-experience.

My question: as I understand, I did nothing wrong. I signed the
ticket and just used some (but not all) weaponery I am allowed
by the law to defend myself. The most upset person in this case
was the lawyer, whose job should be to defend me for my money I
would pay him. I just cannot get rid of the feeling, that lawyer
wasn't about to defend me properly - most of the subpoena "Duces
Tecum" I requested from the state is absolutely necessary to defend
with success. Hence I cannot get rid of the feeling, the most honest
person in this case was the cop herself. She just did her work as
she supposed to. May we call the lawyer-prosecutor-judge "triangle"
in this small city "Mafia"? How many people pay this lawyer - just
to get a minor work done for a big money?

Back to the system. I believe, it is very well possible for a sound
person to annoy a court with a lot of requested/generated paperwork
 - and they will be happy to make a REAL good bargain.

Some tricks:

 1) Everything has to be faxed AND sent by the registered mail (proof
    of delivery requested).

 2) Call the court, cops, prosecutor, Dalai Lama, Pope and the President
    of the U.S. regularely (and very politely!!!). After your call send
    them a fax AND the mail (as above) with the real favourite of me:
    "Confirmation of Conversation". This way you have paperwork about
    every conversation you had on the phone!

 3) Small trick: make sure you shift (just a bit) the facts in the
    "Confirmation of Conversation". (i.e. what you did tell, what
    they told, etc.). This requires really language "finetuning":
    you shift, but not very much. At that point you abuse the fact,
    that most people here don't bother themself to write back.
    As long as your "Confirmation of Conversation" is not contested - 
    what is there, is a FACT.

 4) I just LOVE crossreferencing. You produce an extra paper, where
    you make a reference to a point in a previous document. Say, you
    have to reference in the point 2.1.3 of the document UTT-93-7-8
    about the subpoena 3.6.4 of the motion UTT-93-6-5. It is trivial,
    however: "UTT" means "Uniform Traffic Ticket" and the rest is the
    date. YOU name the documents YOU generate - thus you will remember.
    Have THEM "crack" your code. Remember: your goal is to make their
    READING experience as less easy, as possible.

    Remember: your goal is not to "WIN" the case. Even if your charges
    will be dismissed, nobody will pay your expenses of the travel to
    Timbuktu. Your goal in to go away with the smallest "damage" as
    possible and let the court preserve the face.

 5) Bluff and poker a bit. At one point you suddently have to bargain
    anyway. The more "scores" you collect, the better is your position.
    It won't hurt, say, move, to dismiss the charges "since laser wasn't
    given judicial notice in WA". (Do you care really what the heck was
    given? At worst, you are wrong - nobody was killed and eaten for
such
    a mistake!) The judge/prosecutor/whoever will be forced to answer to
    your motion(s) - and spend increasingly more and more time with you.
    This system is not prepared for such events and will fail.

Why all this? IMHO, U.S. is one of the most pleasant places in the
world.
Really, it was made for us that we can perform all day activities
without
reading, without writing! Look, the most appealing ad is allways about
somewhat being "easy", "EZ", "LaZ"! We don't write - we pick up the
phone.
As I lived in Europe, this drove me crazy. I write a business fax to
U.S.
 - and never ever got answer! The biggest joke ever: Once I wrote a
business
fax to a small company in S.F. They never ever ansvered me. I wanted to
buy
their software, but well, they did not bothered themself to answer to a
guy
from Germany. 4 years later, I became the employee of the same company!
(No,
it wasn't Apple).

Actually (no offense here!) the everyday's life here resembles the way
communism was practiced: the overall importance and win of the lowest
common denominator.

Here is a good sample:

Problem:  The people are scattered across relatively big area, they must
          commute.

Solution: Give'em cars, as cheap as possible, and they all can drive.

Problem:  Some people are less capable to drive these cars; some can
          afford just junk.

Solution: Lower the limbo for the driver's education, lower the
mechanical
          standards at where a car can be considered "roadworthy".

Problem:  The silly drivers keep killing each in the accidents of the
          junk they drive

Solution: Try to keep the speed limits low enough (a nice byproduct:
          a zillion speeding tickets with revenue)

Problem:  The nice guy/gal from the next door will get speeding ticket
earlier
          or later and may get really upset. Since everybody will get
one,
          an angry crowd may cause some disturbance. And anyway, who
wants
          to piss nice people off? (A bad karma to win an election)

Solution: Just "spank" them a bit (not very hard!) in the court and let
them
          bargain, like the people do in the oriental market. Most will
feel
          happy after a minor bargain

Problem:  The legal system will look a bit like an oriental market.

Solution: ????

I believe, the easiest way to "win" in a traffic court (for a minor
offense,
of course: speeding, not obeying the traffic sign, "diamond lane"
violence)
is to beat that damn lowest common denominator.

But the most important issue is very unlike here, than in the real
communism:
it is LEGAL to fight the "lowest common denominator" here and it wasn't
over there.

Let's beat that ticket!
(and probably close this thread because of no Audi content)

George

'97 A6QW
'95 Diamante W.