Re: nice bump...(kinda gross, no Audi content)

[Alex Kowalski (audial@aol.com) (Law Guest Account) <lawguest@wppost.depaul.edu>]

Another nice injury you can give yourself for practically no cost while
working on the brakes is:

Forearm puncture w/muscle eversion.

The procedure:  Nearly the same as Paul's, jack up car, remove wheel,
etc.  This time you need a '68 Corvette.  Also make sure that nobody else
is home and this is the only form of transportation around.

Attach socket & wrench to upper caliper retaining bolt on said Corvette
to tighten it after changing the pads.

Prepare to tighten bolt, holding arm in such a way that forearm is poised
directly adjacent to the sharpest pointy edge of the brake shield plate.

Exert mighty heave-ho on the wrench, not being careful to check that the
socket is still seated properly on the bolt head.

Voila!  Wrench slips off bolt, arm rockets forward directly into pointy
edge of brake shield, which insinuates itself approximately 1/2" deep into
forearm muscle.

Pull back in shock, drawing several torn strands of muscle out of the
nice new hole in your forearm with blood going everywhere.  Scream
uncontrollably as you witness the gore.

Realize that you have no way to get anywhere, immediately begin
pressure.  Wait until the blood dies down and clean the wound.  Look up
immunization records for last tetanus booster shot.  Then perform
surgery on self as follows:

Sterilize a pair of _sharp_ barber's scissors
Snip off errant strands of muscle tissue as close as possible to the
wound
Tuck the rest back inside, apply antibacterial ointment and bandage.

Several weeks later you have a nice, paisley shaped scar.

Have a nice lunch,

Alex
'86 5KCSTQ