Perils of Road Testing #23

[Brett Dikeman <brett@pdikeman.ne.mediaone.net>]

Not Audi related, sorry.  This one is too good to pass up though.  Sorta
related, I guess...automotive testing/evaluation :)
Particularly amusing to pilots.  Hope everyone down south is doing ok after
the biggie storm.  News said the national guard units were being called out
to help dig people out of cars(rings a "Blizzard of '78" bell for new
englanders)

Taken from Last Page, Motorcyclist, September 1991
(The article is accompanied by a photo of a bike in the background.  In the
foreground, we have a man in leather w/helmet holding a large bird from one
wingtip.  The wingspan is roughly as wide as he is tall...)

--
Perils of Road Testing No. 23
   Staffer Lance Holst recently set a record by claiming the largest
confirmed road kill ever recorded during _Motorcyclist_ testing.  In fact,
due to the size of the bird and the circumstances surrounding its demise,
Holst was required to sumbit to interrogation by the FAA, as well as the
NTSB, AAA, the National Audobon Society and Guinness Book of Records.  We
quote the official FAA report.
   "During a routine evaluation session at _Motorcyclist's_ desert test
complex, staffer Holst was traveling at a necessary elevated rate of speed
whilst quantifying dynamic stability criteria of a test unit.  Operating
under Visual Riding Rules, Holst sighted an unauthorized buzzard on the
road surface ahead, eating an unidentified dead thing(UDT).  Apparently
distracted by a particularly recalcitrant piece of viscera, said buzzard
failed to initiate its take-off roll expeditiously and was still in the
early phases of a full-power climb-out when Holst(traveling at
approximately 200ft/sec) realized a collision was imminent.  Holst's helmet
contacted the buzzard just aft of the right wing root, resulting in
instantaneous and catastrophic failure of the bird's flight control system.
Staffer Holst blacked out momentarily immediately after impact but
maintained control of his vehicle.  Later examination of his Kiwi helmet
revealed substantial damage to its energy-absorbing liner, indicating the
severity of the impact.  "Eyewitness accounts of the incident indicate the
buzzard was not developing power after the initial collision and traveled
in a ballistic arc of substantial height, eventually impacting the ground
in a steep nose-down attitude.  There was no fire after impact.  The bird
was not transponder equipped and had not filed a flight plan."

"CAUSE OF ACCIDENT: BUZZARD ERROR"

Cheers all.
Brett

------
Brett Dikeman
brett@pdikeman.ne.mediaone.net
~)-|
Hostes alienigeni me abduxerunt.  Qui annus est?
Te audire non possum.  Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
Ita, scio hunc 'sig file' veterem fieri.
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